When I was five I had a vision; had I known divorce meant forever...

The simmer in my head reminds me, if I ever see you again you’re going in the pot.

Cream-stuffed cupcakes can turn your frown upside down; and your stomach too.

Whenever I’m hurt I always remember, it could be worse and it could be better.

If a rock had a name it would be Pedro. Rocky sounds racist.

There isn’t a way, or wasn’t a way, but now you’re here and that’s changed. Do you know what you’re doing?

If you’re not with us, then I’m not either. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

There’s a pile of ash in the corner. Her name is Jennevieve.

If infatuation is easy then love should be too. Right?

How to insult someone with a compliment: You’re smarter than you look.

Impressive! You’ve made it this far. You can separate reality from nonsense later.

When someone says they’ve struck gold, they mean they’re filthy rich. Ironically, there isn’t a smudge of grime on their tailored suits.